Top Signs He Is Hurt After the Breakup: What You Need to Know

Men often find breakups difficult, but they tend to hide their feelings.

Ending a romantic relationship can be difficult for both individuals who are part of it. Regardless of who initiated the breakup, it is natural to be curious about how your ex-boyfriend copes with the aftermath. This post, ‘Top Signs He Is Hurt After the Breakup, ‘ outlines common signs that indicate he may be struggling emotionally post-breakup. While giving him space to heal in his way is essential, it can also be beneficial to have a candid conversation with him when the timing is right to discuss what led to the breakup and how both of you can move forward.

Top Signs He Is Hurt After the Breakup

Some men may go through severe depression and isolation after getting hurt by a breakup. Manoj Gangwal, who was in a relationship for four years, describes his emotional hardship after his girlfriend ended their relationship. He recalls feeling lost and numb when he received the news, as he had relied on her as a source of stability amidst his career struggles. As a man, he admits that, like many others, he internalized his pain and suffered in silence. There were instances when he couldn’t help but cry, experiencing emptiness and prolonged periods of depression. The end of a long-term relationship made him question the value of the time spent with her.

During the period of depression, some individuals may choose to remain silent or display different reactions. Monitor his actions to understand his emotional state following the breakup.

1. He does not speak

When he goes reticent, it indicates that he is going through a heartbreaking experience. During this time, he will not reach out to anyone, staying silent and distant for an extended period as his feelings of pain remain hidden in his heart. This is when the harsh truth of the breakup starts to register, leading to feelings of remorse. He might be suppressing his feelings of guilt. Even though he appears silent on the outside, he may struggle with the pain of being apart.

2. He is refusing to acknowledge the truth

He might attempt to reassure himself that you will reconsider. Maybe he still feels for you and hopes your relationship can be salvaged. Following the breakup, he will worry about you and reach out to you often through calls or texts. He may even ask your friends about how you are doing.

3. He begins a new romantic relationship

One of the indications that he is feeling sadness and hurt after the breakup is when he quickly moves on to a new relationship without adequately addressing his emotional wounds from the previous one. It could be his way of trying to cope with the complex emotions like hurt, anger, and guilt that come with the breakup. Getting into a new relationship may be a way for him to avoid facing the pain of getting hurt after the breakup.

4. He uses vulgar language towards you

After a breakup, friends and family may want to know the reasons behind it. Your ex might be speaking negatively about you out of persistent anger. This could include calling you incompetent, dishonest, or unfaithful to feel better about yourself and boost your self-esteem. Maybe he is seeking sympathy to improve his emotional state, or he wants to explain the breakup.

5. He makes an effort to keep communication

One indication that he feels hurt after a breakup is when he attempts to reach out to you through various communication methods, such as calling, texting, or sharing memes and breakup songs to gauge your response. He might also be insistent on meeting in person. His expressions of missing you or eagerness to reunite could stem from the ongoing emotional pain of rejection, showing that he hasn’t fully come to terms with the breakup and is stuck in self-pity.

6. He seeks solace in drinking alcohol

Another indicator that he is hurt after a breakup is his tendency to behave recklessly, turning to alcohol as a means of escape when he experiences difficult emotions. For instance, he may start drinking, smoking, or engaging in wild partying right after a breakup as a way to divert his attention away from grieving or to suppress feelings of despair and sorrow.

7. He Seeks Revenge

After a breakup, he may experience intense emotions that cloud his judgment, distort his perception of reality, and drive him to seek revenge. For instance, he might plan to seek revenge on you by damaging your reputation on various social media platforms. He could use blogging, tweeting, and emailing to spread negative information about you to everyone in your social circle. If he starts destroying your property or causing harm because he cannot handle the rejection, it is a clear sign that he is deeply hurt after the breakup.

8. He is looking for a second opportunity

If he regrets breaking up with you, he might apologize, seek forgiveness, and hope to rekindle the relationship. Apologizing could be his strategy to win you back and make things right. Saying sorry makes him feel relieved and helps him regain self-respect. He may be struggling with feelings of inadequacy, sadness, and pain and hopes that apologizing will help him convey these emotions.

9. He Blocks You On Social Media

When he unfollows you on Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat, it may signal that he is hurt after a breakup. Blocking you on social media and removing all your photos post-breakup is a common way for him to cope with the pain. This could be his way of letting go of the past and moving on from the relationship. 

10. He acts as though he has stopped thinking about you

If he is avoiding communication with you or avoiding thoughts of you as a way to deal with his emotions, it indicates that he is deeply hurt after a breakup with you. Despite pretending to be over you, he still has feelings for you and finds it difficult to let go due to his happy memories of you. He may feel sadness, anger, and embarrassment about the relationship not working out.

11. He Fails To Express His Feelings

After a breakup, he struggles to deal with the emotional pain and grief effectively. Recognizing and permitting oneself to grieve is essential for healing. However, he often suppresses his emotions. He may not fully understand or acknowledge his feelings during the breakup, decreasing his emotional awareness. This could cause him to retreat further into his thoughts.

12. He Follows You Everywhere

He might go out of his way to be near you, whether at a social event or a casual get-together. You might spot him at places you frequent, like a coffee shop or grocery store. He could even show up at your home because he still misses you and can’t accept the breakup.

13. He follows you closely

If your former partner asks about you through mutual friends or keeps tabs on you on social media after the breakup, it could indicate that they have not fully moved on from the relationship. They might still have emotions for you and are struggling to process them. Sometimes, individuals monitor behavior because they are not prepared for the relationship to be over or are anxious about losing you. If their actions make you uneasy, talk to your family or confront your ex about the issue.

14. He undermines you

If your former partner is causing trouble for you following the end of the relationship, it could indicate that they are hurt after the breakup and are still upset and have not moved on. They might display their anger by trying to inflict emotional pain on you, attempting to exert control over your actions, or expressing a wish to reconcile. Their efforts to disrupt your peace may stem from intense feelings such as anger or sorrow. It is crucial to safeguard yourself by establishing firm boundaries and reaching out for support from loved ones.

What should you do if he is feeling hurt after the breakup?

To facilitate the breakup process for both parties, it is recommended that the following actions be taken.  

1. Show consideration for his emotions

When he is hurt, it is crucial to carefully consider what you will say and anticipate how he may respond. Considering his emotions and perspective, whether he is sad, angry, or frustrated, can help you be more empathetic.

2. Assist him in managing his feelings

Ask him why he is feeling hurt after the breakup. Is he experiencing regret, pain, or intense emotions? Provide him with sympathetic and logical responses, helping him realize that being in a relationship together is not the best choice for them.

3. Establish limits if you wish to maintain a friendship

Feeling empty and lonely is a normal response to a breakup, showing that he is experiencing emotional pain. To prevent the hurt after the breakup, you may opt to mutually end it on good terms and attempt to maintain a friendship afterward while establishing clear boundaries.

4. Concentrate on your own needs and well-being

Although you are no longer in a relationship with him, and he feels hurt after the breakup, you must seek closure. The most effective way to achieve closure is to give him space to work through his emotions independently while focusing on your own healing process. It is crucial to have time and space to recover from the breakup.

If you notice indications that he is hurt after the breakup, it could suggest he still has feelings for you. He might be going through a period of intense emotional distress and discomfort. Nevertheless, this is not always the situation, and his display of pain may be a way to get back at you. Former partners might exhibit feelings of anger, engage in self-destructive actions, or withdraw from the relationship entirely. You might witness his behaviors and offer assistance if he struggles with the breakup.