A Guide To The Different Stages Of Grief After A Breakup

Experience the sadness, release it, and regain control of your life.

You have made every effort to preserve your relationship. However, the sad truth is your relationship ended, leaving you feeling sad and hopeless. A breakup, particularly in a long-term relationship, can lead to sorrow. In reality, there are various stages to go through during a breakup.

Avoiding the pain is impossible, making it challenging to handle the emotions of heartbreak in a relationship. Grief is a typical response to loss in a relationship. This article, ‘A Guide to the Different Stages of Grief After a Breakup,’ presents the stages of grief after a breakup and offers advice on moving forward in your healing process. Take a look and evaluate your emotions.

What are the different stages of grief following a breakup?

Understanding the different stages of grief following a breakup can enhance your self-awareness and empathy. These different stages of grief may happen at the same time or in various stages. Focusing on achieving your goals will lead to favorable outcomes.

1. Shock

Experiencing shock is common during a breakup, especially if you are caught off guard or unprepared by the sudden loss of a loved one. This could be triggered by receiving a breakup text or your partner moving out without warning, leaving you feeling numb and struggling to process the situation.  

Recognize that feeling stunned is a standard part of different stages of grief and may occur multiple times before fully realizing the loss. Processing the loss of your partner can be difficult. Instead of blaming yourself, allow yourself to experience and work through the emotions in your own time.

2. Denial

Denial is a typical response to loss, where you may have believed you would be with that person forever and are struggling to imagine life without them. Accepting the conclusion of a relationship can be difficult, causing sadness and a yearning for resolution. Despite the reality of the situation in the relationship, you may still hold on to hope and find it difficult to accept the truth. Instead of facing the pain head-on, you delay the grieving process by replacing it with a false sense of optimism that the relationship can be salvaged.

Feeling disoriented or emotionally detached is common when denying reality in the relationship. Longing for something that no longer exists can be mentally challenging. Allow yourself time to acknowledge the need to move forward instead of dwelling on the past. Despite feelings of isolation, avoid reaching out to your ex in hopes of reconciliation.

3. Anger

Initially, refusing to accept the situation of your relationship could lead to feelings of anger. You might start to believe that you have no control over the situation. You may contact your former partner to express your deep sadness and distress. Frequently, you might find yourself getting mad about small matters. You may want to vent your anger on those closest to you. It is essential to prevent anger from causing issues in relationships with loved ones.

4. Bargaining

During the different stages of the grieving process, it is expected to feel a loss of control and begin to bargain with yourself. You may experience feelings of loneliness and regret, wishing you had made different choices in the relationship. Memories of past events, relationships, and situations may resurface frequently, causing you to imagine other outcomes and question what could have been done differently to save the relationship.

Simply recalling how you could have acted differently implies that you are solely responsible for yourself as though you were the only participant in the relationship.

5. Depression

You might begin to lack interest in activities and feel depressed as a whole. You may encounter profound feelings of sorrow, emptiness, and unhappiness. An overwhelming sense of worthlessness might also arise. Your eating and sleeping patterns could be disrupted. You may start to believe that life has no meaning. The world may seem bleak and miserable. You might experience intense emotions of sadness, despair, or hopelessness. It is essential to understand that this depression may not be a sign of a psychiatric condition. Instead, it is a normal response following a significant loss.

Make sure not to ignore the emotions of pain and loneliness. Recognize them and allow them to flow. Inform your loved ones about your struggles with depression. Communicate with them, and if you feel like there is no improvement, reach out to a mental health professional for assistance.

6. Acceptance

At this stage, feeling overwhelmed and experiencing difficulties coping with the different stages of the grieving process can be expected. Coming to terms with the end of the relationship and recognizing that nothing is left to be done can be challenging. Acknowledging the relationship situation does not automatically erase the pain and suffering. It is important to remember that grieving is a gradual process that may require some time before feeling better.

Accepting a broken relationship implies that you have come to terms with the situation and have no desire to make any changes. You may have started to imagine a future without your former partner.

7. Moving on

During this mourning phase, you begin to experience a sense of liberation. You are no longer weighed down by the pain that was previously hindering you. You no longer harbor hatred towards your ex-partner or desire any connection with them. Instead, you evolve into an improved version of yourself, armed with the wisdom you have acquired from your experiences.

How To Get Over A Breakup?

Suppose you move on from a breakup rapidly to avoid experiencing different stages of grief that could lead to sadness. Ultimately, allowing yourself to go through each stage in due time is more beneficial before moving on. Breakup recovery stages are not fixed. Here are some suggestions to help ease the process.

1. Improve your self-assurance

You are expected to start examining your physical and personality characteristics, questioning what might be missing that could cause someone to stop loving you. This may lead to feelings of rejection and loneliness in the relationship, but it is essential to change your perspective. Rather than fixating on your perceived shortcomings, concentrate on the qualities you value in yourself and your efforts in the relationship.

2. Explore different places

Look for a new cafe or restaurant to visit. Explore different places once a week to break away from your routine and help with your recovery.

3. Avoid seeking a replacement relationship hastily

Getting back on your feet quickly boosts confidence or self-worth, but the boost doesn’t last long. Once the temporary high subsides, you may experience feelings of disappointment and remorse over your decisions.

4. Refrain from making hasty judgments

When a relationship ends, you may feel the urge to make drastic changes, like getting a new haircut or tattoo, but it’s important to avoid acting impulsively in the heat of the moment. These decisions made out of anger or resentment could lead to regrets in the future. Instead, try to discover ways to manage the negative emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one. Acknowledge the pain and sadness you are feeling and seek out healthy ways to manage it.

5. Reach out to your family and friends

The support of close friends and family is vital for the recovery process following the conclusion of a romantic relationship. Reach out to friends and family members you may have neglected during your relationship. Invest meaningful time with them and create new experiences together.  

Grieving is a complex journey that does not follow a linear path. Dealing with the consequences of a breakup can be challenging. The stages of grief don’t always unfold in a particular order. Avoid suppressing your feelings of sorrow. Allow yourself to experience and release them. As you move through the emotional stages of healing from a breakup, your perspective will shift, and you will begin to see opportunities for a new start.