Why Men Cheat: Top Reasons And Ways To Deal With It

Building trust is a lengthy process that can be shattered instantly by someone’s actions.

Regardless of whether a relationship is built on mutual trust or coercion, it can result in either a happy marriage or a devastating experience. Regardless of who is betraying trust, you may ponder common questions like ‘Why do men cheat?’ or ‘Why do women cheat?’ in a relationship.

Cheating can occur for various reasons, whether it is intentional or not. It can shatter the trust and commitment of loved ones. This act of betrayal could result in a partner developing long-term trust issues, as well as feelings of depression, anxiety, and even PTSD. If you can empathize with these emotions and seek explanations for why men cheat or how to recognize signs of men cheating in a relationship, reading this article ‘Why Men Cheat: Top Reasons And Ways to Deal With It’ may provide some insight.

Is it common for men to cheat on their partners?

To claim that all men cheat would be an exaggeration, as it is not accurate. Both genders cheat in varying ways; some instances are more conspicuous, while others remain hidden. While the stereotype suggests that men are more prone to cheating and betrayal, it would be incorrect to make a blanket statement.

According to research conducted by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), there is a higher likelihood of women cheating on their partners in the 18 to 29 age group. Conversely, cheating rates are higher among men aged 30 and older.

What proportion of men engage in cheating?

A study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) revealed that from 2010 to 2016, 20% of men admitted to engaging in extra-marital affairs, while only 13% of women reported doing the same. A more recent survey conducted by Dr. Wang in late 2019 found that 20% of men confessed to cheating on their partners, compared to 10% of women.

Regardless of the data, the motivations for each act of deceit and betrayal vary among individuals. Let’s explore a few of these reasons and attempt to gain some understanding.

Top Reasons For Men Cheating In A Relationship

Cheating occurs when a man becomes emotionally or sexually involved with another woman instead of his partner.

1. Demonstrating a lack of maturity: A not mature man may only realize the consequences of his actions once it’s too late. Someone unwilling to invest time, effort, and dedication into a relationship is more inclined to cheat than a man who is fully committed to his partner.

2. An escape route: A man who has ended his relationship may seek alternative methods to end it, particularly if he struggles to discuss it with his partner. He may turn to cheating as a more straightforward way to experience freedom.

3. Building an emotional connection: Even though society often mischaracterizes social expectations, men also desire love and affection from their partners. Feeling neglected, criticized, or trapped in a jealous and insecure relationship, they may seek emotional intimacy with another person.

4. Narcissism: A man with narcissistic characteristics like greed and selfishness could be more likely to cheat compared to a man without these traits. While not all narcissists engage in cheating, those who do have a higher tendency for it. Narcissists typically focus on themselves, seek constant validation, and struggle with showing empathy. Additionally, some may have a low tolerance for boredom, leading to involvement in multiple extra-marital relationships.

5. Retaliation: If a man feels pain from his partner’s actions or words, he might try to retaliate and show disrespect by being unfaithful. In this situation, the man will not attempt to conceal his hurtful choice from his partner.

6. Compulsive sexual behavior: Many men have been identified with a sex addiction, which, similar to other addictions, can lead to the release of dopamine in the brain. Men struggling with sex addiction often find it challenging to manage their urges and refrain from engaging in inappropriate behavior.

7. Additional dependencies: Addiction leads to increased impulsiveness and irrationality in decision-making for an individual. Substance abuse impacts a person’s brain and actions, resulting in poor decision-making. 

8. Problems related to mental health: Men who are facing depression or anxiety may participate in actions that harm themselves. This behavior could be triggered by despair, causing them to believe they are undeserving of affection. This internal battle can drive them to engage in acts of unfaithfulness. 

9. Verification: If a man does not feel accepted or valued by his partner, he may be more likely to cheat if his insecurity is not addressed. In this case, he may seek validation from other people. 

10. Existential dilemmas: Some men might have concealed their sexual desires or identity because of concerns about societal perceptions or pressure. Consequently, a man could betray his partner as he explores his identity.

11. History of maltreatment and harm suffered in the past: Men who had complex and troubling childhoods might be more inclined to participate in extra-marital sexual activities. This behavior could stem from emotional wounds and difficulties forming relationships that prevent them from fully committing to one partner. Some individuals may also use sex as a means of seeking pleasure or coping with past trauma.

12. Unreasonable expectations: A man with unrealistic expectations of his partner may feel disappointed if those expectations are not met. He might seek fulfillment outside of the relationship to satisfy his wants and needs. He may resort to manipulation tactics to make you feel inadequate and undeserving of him.  

13. Take information or resources from a former partner: Memories have the ability to alter one’s perception of reality, recall past experiences, or provide solace by reconnecting with a person who once cared for them, particularly if one is experiencing difficulties in their current relationships.

14. Excitement: Some individuals in satisfying relationships may still cheat. Their actions are motivated by personal desires rather than discontent. The excitement of potential discovery or the allure of new connections drives men to cheat.

15. Imagining sexual scenarios in one’s mind: Some men have a sense of adventure and desire fantasies that their partner may not share. As a result, they may seek out other sexual partners who are open to exploring these fantasies with them.

16. A Mistake: A man may cheat due to circumstances. The responsibility may or may not be entirely his. For instance, he may make a mistake while under the influence of alcohol. However, this does not justify his actions. Even if it was not intentional, the consequences on his partner can be severe. 

17. Friends deceive and betray: Referencing acquired behaviors, men in the company of cheating friends may be more likely to cheat themselves. Friendships significantly impact a man’s likelihood of cheating as they may leverage this expected behavior to deepen their bond without worrying about consequences from their peers.

18. Economic factors: A research study revealed that men are more inclined to cheat when dissatisfied with their financial status. If they believe they have not lived up to the expectations of being the leading provider, they may seek extra-marital affairs. Additionally, the study indicated that individuals with higher incomes are more prone to cheating.

19. Lack of appropriate boundaries in personal relationships: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial to ensure mutual understanding of what behavior is acceptable for both parties involved in the relationship. This lack of clarity and honesty about emotions can lead to dissatisfaction, discomfort, or a feeling of something lacking in the relationship. It can also lead to a sense of not receiving enough emotional support, which may result in feelings of resentment. While poor personal boundaries may not be the only reason, they can contribute to cheating in men.

How To Identify If Your Man Is Cheating In Relationship?

You have a deeper understanding of your partner than anyone else. Abrupt changes in his actions might raise your suspicions.

• He begins to spend less time at home all of a sudden frequently. You might hear reasons like staying late at work or socializing with friends.    
• He starts to become distant or disinterested. Talking to him becomes problematic because he doesn’t share any information when questioned.
• He becomes discreet about where he is and his phone usage.

Vlogger Robbi Jan shares her personal experience and points out that a significant warning sign indicating her husband’s cheating was his excessive secrecy. She notes that one of the indicators is extreme secrecy, such as being vague in conversations and withholding information. However, the main red flag for her was her husband’s unusual behavior with his phone, including constantly using it or turning away while messaging.  

• He appears temperamental and easily agitated. He could offer criticism in unfamiliar ways.
• He demonstrates a disinterest in engaging in physical intimacy with you.
• He puts more time and energy into his look now compared to before.
• He begins to deceive you and consistently refuses to accept the truth.  
• He continues to inquire about your future intentions. Perhaps this is to prevent any unexpected encounters with you.
• He has set up several social media profiles and noticed a shift in his phone usage. He is now spending more time texting or making calls in a different area away from you.
• He begins showering you with numerous gifts. This could be his way of easing his guilt over being unfaithful to you.

What To Do If Your Man Is Cheating On You?

Discovering that your partner is being unfaithful can evoke a variety of feelings, such as anger, sorrow, regret, and powerlessness. You might blame yourself for what happened, but it’s essential to recognize that cheating is a decision made by the person who committed it. Acknowledging and processing your emotions can assist in coping with the pain, but it’s crucial to remember that the healing process is not a straightforward journey.

People recover from injuries or illnesses in various ways. Below are some methods that can assist you as you go through the healing journey:

1. Face him directly: The initial stage is simple. If you have a feeling that your man is cheating, the best way to find out is by directly asking them. They might attempt to deny it, but you can generally tell when he is lying based on your knowledge of him. Keep your composure and take the situation seriously.

2. Acknowledge your emotions: Feeling like you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions is common, and it may require time to understand the situation fully, but acknowledging your feelings is a crucial part of the healing process.

3. Avoid seeking retaliation: Getting betrayed by your partner is a hurtful situation, and you may desire to cause them pain in return. However, seeking vengeance is not the solution. Retaliating may provide momentary gratification, but it prevents you from progressing.

4. Avoid getting involved in blaming others: Blaming your partner, the other person, or yourself for the situation may feel like an easy solution, but it will not lead to any positive change and will only result in negative feelings about yourself.

5. Keep the children out of it: Protect your children from suffering and sorrow. Keep this matter private between you and your partner. If he tries to reconcile, it may affect how the children view their father.

6. Taking care of oneself: Looking after yourself might initially pose a challenge, but be patient and tackle it one day at a time. Ensure you consume nutritious meals, maintain a consistent sleeping routine, and clean your personal items.

7. Get tested for sexually transmitted diseases: During the intense emotions of the initial period, you may have forgotten to consider this, but it’s essential to make sure you are tested for STDs. This will help ease your mind instead of constantly worrying about it.  

8. Relationship therapy: When considering whether to repair or terminate a relationship, it is recommended to attend couples counseling. Consulting with a therapist can assist in understanding the situation and provide a secure environment for open communication between you and your partner. Seeking help from a professional can guide you toward the appropriate course of action if you wish to maintain the relationship.

9. Look for assistance: Being cheated on can have a significant impact on your life, and you don’t need to face it alone. If you have trustworthy friends or family members you feel comfortable confiding in; you could seek their moral support during this difficult time.

Cheating can cause considerable emotional distress and may lead to the end of a relationship. Recovery from such betrayal can be a lengthy and challenging process lasting months or even years. Additionally, there is a risk of cheating reoccurring in the future. Recognizing the underlying causes of cheating can prevent couples from repeating the same harmful behavior. Being unfaithful can prompt individuals to reflect on their relationship and decide whether to continue or put it on hold.